Sunday, April 7, 2013

It's all in the definition

To celebrate my daughter's birthday this week, I could not think of a better way to honor her than to post her original, copy written definition of a DOUCHEBAG TOOL that was carefully crafted after a few scandalous and skanky women dared to come to town and mess with her mom.

Needless to say, they left and are never to return.

Tatum is majoring in communications and is a consistent member of her university's Dean's List.

All I can say is ENJOY!

"A douchebag tool, is a simple, yet unique personality trait that combines douche-y and tool-esque qualities together into a creation which enhances both qualities into a socially fatal cocktail of douche. A douchebag, mooches off of the humor, intelligence, and creativity of others, in such a flamboyant, narcissistic, and self-righteous manner, that it provides a false sense of accomplishment for that douchebag, which in turn, is found appealing by SCORES of other douchebags. This catches the eye of the SUPER douchebags, who then implement the moronic douchebags for their own personal gain, rendering them tools. The difference between a regular tool, and a douchebag tool, is that, once the SUPER douchebags have fully exploited the douchebag tools, they realize that the douchebag tool is merely a douchebag, and bails promptly from the situation, while a tool, has the potential to stick around least there aren't a douchebag.

Examples include- the entire Kardashian Family, Sarah Palin, Jimmy Fallon, Manny Rodriguez, Kanye West, Jessica Simpson, John Mayer, Lady Gaga (who's a specialized tool: Madonna knock-off tool; that particular type of tool has been scarce in number for many years), anybody who's been on the Bachelor, and a plentiful plethora of those in or around the vicinity of Malibu; especially those who don't LIVE here. "

--Written and performed by Tatum Hengel--

Happy Birthday Tatum! Love you!

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