Monday, December 24, 2012

Happy Holidays Lovers! Last minute DIY gifts/crisis intervention!

Sooooo, licking your wounds from the other night, realizing that you neglected to execute a "to do list"  for yourself/assistant believing the Mayans were right and there would be no Christmas??

More importantly, from a business standpoint/your stock portfolio, did you really think Walmart would allow the Mayans to get away with this?



I know you read my text/tweet/Facebook-post-I-tagged-you-in.

"I Told You So's" evenly distributed, shame on me if I didn't do you a solid and get you out of this serious holiday jam/a.k.a. potential P.R. nightmare depending on if you're an A list or B celeb at the very least ( and if your assistant is still around to run errands after all the abuse she's taken this year ). The last thing I would want for any client/FBfriend/family/acquaintance/exes/did-I-leave-anyone-out? is to actually let people have any idea that you really thought the Apocalypse was here ( translation: psycho ).

Crisis Intervention mode.

So let's go over this shall we?

You were only being "sympathetic to others", "consoling them", "( overly ) supporting their ( poor ) decisions", being a good client/FBfriend/family/acquaintance/exes/did-I-leave-anyone-out? as you stoically stood/laid by their side.


Future therapy aside, here are some last minute, super cool DIY gifts to get you back in the good graces  of your fans/FBfriends/family/acquaintances/exes/did-I-leave-anyone-out?

The Friendship Necklace

Super boho-chic right? Everyone needs a splash of color after drinking and drugging themselves silly over this Mayan Nightmare.

What better way to spend Christmas Eve than whipping up a bunch of "friendship necklaces" ( every celeb/VIP wants to believe they have them ) for your go to gals that got you out of a hot mess or two this year while I was dealing with your potential media backlash ( Perez Hiltion ). The girls at Honestly WTF have a D.I.Y. for everyone and every occasion. Great last minute gifts to avoid potential career ending disasters.

What to do with/for the bestie with potential to risk ruining your life/career/future-with-a-uber-wealthy-social-network-guru?

It's not enough that I have to nurse you through the most recent post Mayan/Apocalypse ( raise your hand if you're sick of hearing about it ) break-up with your bestie thinking the world was going to end. In between my hand holding to stop you from texting, Tweeting, Instagramming and crying, you, ( or your assistant ) needs to find enough time to do this super fast DIY to help keep your bestie's shit together ( at the very least her accessories ).

Driftwood and Vintage Knob Necklace Holder

Before your assistant runs out the door and into a TMZ reporter, whip up some Homemade Vegan Hot Chocolate Mix. It's better to keep her ( and your secrets ) warm because revenge is a dish best served cold and god only knows how many recipes she got ready to lay out on the table.

Job well done.

You ( or your assistant ) deserves a raise/drink.

More importantly, what are you going to get me for Christmas for getting out of all the disastrous decisions you made a la Lindsay Lohan in 2012?

First, I will let you slide for ignoring my needs over this Mayan miscommunication thing and I'll be expecting that Birkin I have been coveting/ told your assistant about ( see below ) on my desk the first business day of January 2013, delivered by messenger since you'll be in the Turks-Caicos for New Year's - no excuses.

Happy Holidays Lovers! Looking forward to PR'ing you all out of potential scandals in 2013!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...